Posted by admin on Jun 3, 2013
The Blue Stone Press’ advice columnist brazenly goes where Dear Abby and Ann Landers wisely wont. ‘Dear Wally’ is salty, funny, and irreverent, over the top, obnoxious, sweet, and sometimes pointless. No topic is off limits and hate mail is occasionally spewed at the paper. But don’t let that scare you off. If you have a question that needs answering… Dear Wally 137 Dear Wally: When we’re out in public, my husband thinks nothing of going into to the ladies’ bathroom if the men’s bathroom is occupied or simply too gross. This doesn’t seem wrong to him in the least , but it does to me and I’ve said so. My question is: under what circumstances is it OK for a guy to use the ladies’ bathroom? It doesn’t seem fair that guys should be allowed to come in and mess up the ladies’ room. I know I sound old-fashioned. -Pilar Dear Pilar: Your husband can hardly be faulted! Ladies’ rooms are so much more civilized than men’s rooms… I know this from recent experience and also from growing up with 3 sisters. The good news (for your gender) is that most red-blooded, he-men would prefer death or excruciating, cross-legged, throat clearing outside a locked men’s room door to the humiliation of taking themselves 3 steps to the right and using the ladies’ room. Not me! I’m with your husband on this and NOT going into an empty and perfectly good bathroom because of a sign with two extra letters (wo+men) seems like arbitrary folly to this full bladder. A toilet is a toilet is a toilet (except when it’s a urinal). How’s that for 1.5 gpf of philosophy? I do want to stress that there are certain obligations that the male interloper has if he enters your gender’s bathroom. Background fact- If you have ever experienced a public men’s room , then you know how vile it can be (and usually is). The defiling that grown men do when they think no one is going to scold them for being disgusting reminds us of the evolutionary angstrom (and I’m being generous here) separating us from the screeching, poo-flinging baboons in the monkey cage at the zoo. It is an axiomatic paradox that the more a guy’s room is used, the less it should be used. So gents- if you are planning on grabbing a skirt and jumping the gender fence on the rare...
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Posted by admin on Jun 3, 2013
The Blue Stone Press’ advice columnist brazenly goes where Dear Abby and Ann Landers wisely wont. ‘Dear Wally’ is salty, funny, and irreverent, over the top, obnoxious, sweet, and sometimes pointless. No topic is off limits and hate mail is occasionally spewed at the paper. But don’t let that scare you off. If you have a question that needs answering… Dear Wally 136 Dear Jackass Wally: When my friends and I read your column in our dorm room, we play a game called “Beer Wally.” It works like this. We read it out loud and every time you say something stupid or try to impress us with your vocabulary, we do a shot of beer. Obviously we get really drunk doing this. Here are some of the words that got us wasted last time– vitupertion, sniggered, sanctmonious, erstwhile, quadratic. Oh yeah, I almost forgot sugar booger. What the hell is that? I could go on and on. Most of us go to college but we never know what the hell you are talking about. Your answers are so full of crap, it makes me want to stick a fork in my eye. Seriously, you are the perfect example of why this area sucks and that everyone under the age of 30 wants to leave. This place is nothing more than fake intellectuals like you, dirty old farmers, dirty construction workers, hippys who think their real artists, gay guys from New York with weekend houses and ugly soccer moms. Did you ever notice how ugly everybody is around here? You probably won’t even print this letter because you’re probably a pussy, but we have an ACTUAL question for your next column- Why does everybody think this area is so great when it sucks? Sincerely, Awesome Bob Rosendale Wally replies: Beer Bob: How dare you insult the entire readership of the Blue Stone Press in one discursive, snarky, hacked-up loogie? That is MY job! For your edification: One hippy= hippy. More than one hippy= hippies. 3 or more hippies = Rosendale. (Bada BING!) Dirty old farmers grow the barley and hops that constitute the grog into which you push your punkass snout when you are playing Beer Wally (and not studying in the library?!). You sure you wanna so overtly jam the farmers?? Revenge (like beer) is a libation best served cold… And where the hell are my Beer Wally royalties? You can probably get...
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Posted by admin on Jan 13, 2012
The Blue Stone Press’ advice columnist brazenly goes where Dear Abby and Ann Landers wisely wont. ‘Dear Wally’ is salty, funny, and irreverent, over the top, obnoxious, sweet, and sometimes pointless. No topic is off limits and hate mail is occasionally spewed at the paper. But don’t let that scare you off. If you have a question that needs...
Read More
